Divorced & Determined AF
The show that supports women with the information they need to know before, during and beyond divorce. Your host, Jamie Milam, is a Certified Divorce Specialist® and is determined to empower you to live the life you desire -and deserve- by helping you make informed decisions & take aligned action. Bringing you professional education, personal experiences and tangible resources you can use no matter the stage of divorce you are in. For more divorce support, visit PeaceOfMindDivorce.info To learn more about Jamie Milam, visit JamieMilam.com
Episodes
![77 - Avoid Future Conflicts: The Power of Specificity in Your Divorce Agreement](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
5 days ago
5 days ago
In this episode I'm diving into a topic that I wish more women knew to spend more time on in their divorce process: the importance of having a detailed and specific divorce agreement.
This crucial episode explains how clarity in your agreement can prevent future disputes, protect you legally, and provide peace of mind. I'll share practical tips and real-life examples, highlighting areas such as being specific with dates, timelines, financial details, and defining terms, to ensure your agreement is as precise as possible. Need help making sure it's drafted with that intention? Sure thing! In addition to working with an experienced professional, I'll cover a few of my top tips to make that happen such as reviewing it with a trusted source and revising it, thinking about long term scenarios and the importance of documenting everything - and what exactly that means.
Whether you're just starting the process or revisiting your agreement, this episode is packed with essential insights to help you safeguard your future.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
03:51 Why Clarity and Precision Matter
07:59 Key Areas to Specify in Your Agreement
10:52 Financial Obligations and Asset Division
16:39 Defining Terms and Responsibilities
24:32 Legal Perspectives and Practical Tips
34:24 Safeguarding Your Future
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
![76 - Emotionally Charged Communication in a Divorce](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday Jul 01, 2024
76 - Emotionally Charged Communication in a Divorce
Monday Jul 01, 2024
Monday Jul 01, 2024
Divorce is an emotional rollercoaster and I've certainly been experiencing the turbulence while dealing with my divorce, even years after the separation. When you're riding the wave, it can be easy to respond with emotionally charged reactions, especially when it comes to communicating with your ex. However, maintaining your sense of self-control is so important, even if it's not easy.
In this episode I'm going to highlight several cues that can help you identify when you're emotionally charged and provide six practical strategies for managing your emotionally charged state so you can regain control of your responses. Join me as I navigate the complexities of post-divorce emotions and encourage you to find your own path to healing.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
03:40 The Importance of Self-Control During Divorce
06:00 Recognizing Emotionally Charged Cues
13:37 Strategies for Maintaining Composure
18:55 Community & a Guiding Light
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
![75 - Supporting Your Teenager Through Divorce with Ann Coleman (pt 2)](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday Jun 03, 2024
75 - Supporting Your Teenager Through Divorce with Ann Coleman (pt 2)
Monday Jun 03, 2024
Monday Jun 03, 2024
Getting a teen to open up isn't always the easiest, so how do we do it in this especially difficult time? How do we regulate our own emotions so that we can support them in regulating theirs? And most importantly, is it possible to actually strengthen our relationship with our teens during and after a divorce, and if so, how do we do that?
This episode continues the conversation with parents of teens educator, Ann Coleman, diving into how you can maintain and even strengthen your bond with your teenage child during this transition. Learn tips on the parenting style that fosters autonomy, empathy, and open communication. Discover how to respect their feelings and how to listen in a way that encourages them to share more. We also tackle the challenge of managing your own emotional turmoil, offering strategies for stress reduction and emotional regulation that can model resilience and emotional intelligence for your teen. Whether you're worried about rebellion, co-parenting confrontations, or simply striving to be the parent your teen needs during this time, this episode is a beacon of understanding, packed with actionable insights and compassionate advice to help you and your teen navigate this journey with grace and closer connection.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
CONNECT WITH ANN COLEMAN:
https://SpeakingOfTeens.com
Browse Ann's List of Freebies
Ann's Facebook
References:
Emotional Agility by Susan David
Episode 71
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Episode Moments:
04:31 Understanding Teen Guilt and Communication Challenges
05:52 The Impact of Parenting Styles on Teen Communication
08:38 Encouraging Open Dialogue Around Co-Parenting Arrangements
15:71 The Importance of Emotional Regulation for Parents
22:59 Understanding Teen Brain Development and Reactivity
31:32 Strengthening Parent-Teen Relationships
![74 - Telling Your Teenager About Your Divorce with Ann Coleman (pt 1)](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday May 27, 2024
74 - Telling Your Teenager About Your Divorce with Ann Coleman (pt 1)
Monday May 27, 2024
Monday May 27, 2024
It can be tempting to think of your teens as mature enough to handle more information than what you may tell the little ones, but what is actually appropriate to communicate with them when telling them about your divorce? Does that differ if you're not able to sit down with your soon to be ex and tell your teen together? Do we ask their preferences and involve them in the decision making process to the upcoming transition? What type of expectations do we set with them?
Discover expert advice on how to talk to your teens about separation, the delicate balance between sharing and withholding information and navigating decisions that need to be made post-separation that affect them. Teen parenting educator, Ann Coleman, joins us to shed some light on how you can create a supportive environment for your teen's development during these challenging times.
Whether you're in the midst of navigating parenting through a divorce or just keen on understanding the teenage brain better, this episode sheds light on creating stability, understanding, and love in the changing dynamics of a family.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
CONNECT WITH ANN COLEMAN:
https://SpeakingOfTeens.com
Browse Ann's List of Freebies
Ann's Facebook
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Episode Moments:
05:14 Giving Your Child the Best Version of You
09:19 Expert Advice on Discussing Divorce with Teenagers
13:34 Addressing Teenagers' Needs and Questions During Divorce
19:28 Decisions on Living Arrangements Post-Divorce
25:34 Separating the "Ex" from the "Parent"
29:02 Navigating Changes and Maintaining Honest Conversations with Teens
![73 - Financial Considerations for Women in Divorce with CDFA Jessica Garcia](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday May 20, 2024
73 - Financial Considerations for Women in Divorce with CDFA Jessica Garcia
Monday May 20, 2024
Monday May 20, 2024
Divorce is more than just an emotional rollercoaster; it's a significant financial transition that demands careful planning and consideration. Often, the elements of finance in divorce, such as asset division, long-term impacts on finances, and considerations for future needs, are overlooked in the rush to finalize the separation.
Joined by Jessica Garcia, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Divorce Coach, we dive into the intricacies of managing financial assets and liabilities during a divorce, providing insights and strategies to help you navigate these turbulent waters with greater confidence and foresight.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
Jessica Garcia is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and a Certified Divorce Coach.
CONNECT WITH JESSICA:
http://www.brainstormingwomen.com
Facebook
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References:
Episode 55 - Navigating Mortgage Options to Keep Your Home in a Divorce
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Episode Moments:
06:21 Tax Implications in Divorce
11:27 Overlooked Financial Impacts
17:52 Opportunity Costs and Decision Making in Divorce
22:45 The Importance of Proactive Planning
29:14 Creating Your Best Strategy
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
![72 - Understanding Marital Interest in Divorce with divorce attorney Theresa Viera](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday May 13, 2024
Monday May 13, 2024
Splitting your assets in a divorce is no fun, and for many situations it can be convoluted and confusing. There's marital property, separate property, some states have divisible property... how do you differentiate between it all?
I've asked family law attorney, Theresa Viera, to join me today and help us understand the nuances of what constitutes separate property versus marital property, and to offer specific examples to illustrate how assets like retirement accounts and homes are evaluated and divided. Learn about the impact of contributions to marital assets and how that can create a marital interest even in what you may have thought was only separate property.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
Theresa Viera is a Family Law Attorney, Family Financial Certified Mediator, and the Founder of Modern Legal.
CONNECT WITH THERESA:
https://ModernLegalNC.com
YouTube
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Episode Moments:
06:00 Understanding Community vs. Equitable Distribution States
10:31 Marital vs. Separate Property: Definitions and Examples
19:46 The Impact of Marital Contributions on Separate Property
27:00 Factors Influencing Equitable Property Division
32:08 Valuing Personal Property in Divorce
37:27 Protecting Your Interests
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
![71 - The Overwhelm Antidote You Need in a Divorce](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday May 06, 2024
71 - The Overwhelm Antidote You Need in a Divorce
Monday May 06, 2024
Monday May 06, 2024
As women, we tend to carry a burden and responsibility in our minds that's considering everyone else but us. And we hardly speak up about it. When we do start to think about what we want, we somehow find a way to downplay it, dismiss it or even try to convince ourselves we're being unreasonable. "I should be able to just get over this." "I just have too high of expectations." Statements like that can lead to pressure and shame spirals, which lead to overwhelm.
Too much overwhelm can (and certainly will) lead to an elevated and reactive emotional state. A divorce presents its fair share of overwhelm, but is still best navigated when you can keep your wits about you. This episode is all about offering you an antidote to your overwhelm so you can better manage your emotions and reactions, ultimately promoting a calmer, more reflective state of being. By the end, you'll have five quick tricks you can implement today to get your emotions under control before the overwhelm hijacks you.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
03:42 Build Up of Overwhelm
07:42 The Impact of Judgment-Free Emotion Management
11:49 Five Techniques to Manage Emotions
21:12 Lifelong Applicability
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
![70 - First Thing to Do When Considering a Divorce](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday Apr 29, 2024
70 - First Thing to Do When Considering a Divorce
Monday Apr 29, 2024
Monday Apr 29, 2024
If you're at your wits end with your marriage, feeling lost, and have a thousand questions swirling in your head about your future's unknown, this is the episode is for you. This episode provides emotional support and practical advice for women considering divorce, feeling overwhelmed by the decision-making process.
We discuss how intense emotions like anxiety and stress biologically messes with your ability to process information and make decisions, so you can understand why it's so hard for you to figure out what to do first. Then I'm going to share what you want to do first, in the very beginning, if you're considering a divorce. This first step is going to give you the tool you need to gain clarity on what you need to know, who can help you, and offer you guidance that you can take throughout the entire divorce process if that's what ends up occurring. If you want to dissipate the brain fog and find a clear path, then tune in to learn from those who have been where you are.
References:
Episode 56
The accompanying worksheet can be found in the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative's free resource library. Please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
04:10 The Science Behind Your Overwhelm
09:15 Your First Practical Step
14:35 Navigating Key Areas of Divorce
22:22 Empowering Yourself
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
![69 - How to Manage Communication with Your Ex in a Divorce w/ divorce coach Christina Butler](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday Apr 22, 2024
Monday Apr 22, 2024
We naturally have a tendency to react emotionally during communications with a soon-to-be ex-partner, but directing those emotions at them can greatly compromise your divorce process. Even if you're not labeled as "high conflict" within your proceedings, you can still encounter challenges if you aren't equipped with some best practices for communicating with your ex.
I've asked Christina Butler, a certified High Conflict Divorce Coach, to join me today to help us understand what those risks are and how we can do our best to avoid them. With a masters in counseling and having experienced divorce herself, she understands the natural emotional reactions we have but has also witnessed how it can negatively impact your settlement and future and will share some of that with us today.
She'll give us the practical advice you need to help you avoid your communication being used against you in court, offer strategies on how to not let your emotions hijack you, and guidance on the best communications modes when it comes to your divorce. We want to help you get through the short term pain so you can reap the long term benefits.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
CONNECT WITH CHRISTINA:
https://www.hopekinleycoaching.com/
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Episode moments:
07:27 Understanding Emotional Hijacking in Divorce Conversations
14:08 The Importance of Grieving in the Divorce Process
17:54 The Consequences of Letting Emotions Hijack Communication
22:49 Mindset Shifts for Parents in Divorce
30:28 Best Modes for Divorce Communication
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.
![68 - Your Social Life in Suburbia Changes After Divorce: How to Cope](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/15189712/DDAF_pod_cover_final_4__t54q8b_300x300.png)
Monday Apr 15, 2024
68 - Your Social Life in Suburbia Changes After Divorce: How to Cope
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Are you feeling a little out of place in your social circles now that you're going through a divorce? Do you feel like you get invited to less things by your couple friends. Is your new co-parenting schedule making it a little difficult to get on the same page as your friends? Maybe you're like me, and you find yourself not relating to your neighborhood the way you once did. Life in suburbia certainly can feel different once your family dynamics shift after a divorce.
It can be a struggle to find your footing again in social settings after you separate and you may naturally retract from some of the social landscapes you were once a part of. Today's episode is meant to help set you up with potential expectations so you'll 1) feel less isolated if it occurs and 2) know how to cope with it so you can navigate the changing social landscapes more peacefully and rebuild a newly aligned social life.
For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info
Follow us on Instagram @divorcedanddeterminedaf for more ways to help you prepare for what's to come in the divorce journey.
Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
https://JamieMilam.com
Instagram | LinkedIn
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Episode Moments:
03:28 Pressures as a Working Mom
06:33 The Impact of Divorce on Social Circles and Friendships
10:12 Finding Support
16:08 Rediscovering Joy
20:16 Looking Forward
DISCLAIMER: The commentary on this podcast is not intended to serve as or replace professional legal, financial or medical advice. While the insights may have wide applicability, listeners should consult with an attorney, CPA, financial advisor, therapist or physician in your state to obtain advice with respect to your particular issue and/or case.